Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Courage, salivary glands and ulterior motives.

Normally, words pour out of me like strings of saliva from a big hairy dog's mouth- kind of plentiful, kind of a bodily function, kind of inappropriate depending on where it all lands. This blog has been giving me a hard time though. I'm very aware that this is a public place. Once I put it on here it's on the internet for all to see, and that's kind of scary. I've been trying to come up with blog posts that are a little censored, not write anything that I wouldn't want to share with anybody in my life or out of my life. And the result of that has been no blog posts. Apparently my writing comes from a place of openness and honesty. Straight from my salivary glands. I can swallow it or I can be real. I can be open and have a blog or I can be private and safe and not have a blog. So I'm mustering my courage and I'm just going to be my whole self on here, bring my feelings and loves and thoughts and bad puns.

Some friends have suggested I could have a private blog that is open only to my friends or people I invite. I considered that. But really, my reasons for wanting a blog are to promote myself. More specifically, promote my music, art and writing. I have my little website for music and art where things rarely change and I know that people will check back more often when there are interesting new things to see. Those are my ulterior motives: amass a following of blog followers who will help art opportunities come my way and who will hear about my music if I ever finish the other album I've been working on for three or four years. So a private blog wouldn't help me in that respect.

This promotion thing is funny to me because the album I have on my bandcamp page right now makes me cringe. I can't listen to it if other people are around, or I can't be there if other people are listening to it. I heat up and start to sweat. But that's another topic.

My non-ulterior motive for this blog is that I like to write. And I write better if I know someone will read it. It's fun.

Blogging has also been difficult lately because I want it to be good! I want my writing to dance with funny metaphors and glitter with genius. And that gets in the way of writing anything. So for this sort-of first entry, sort of third entry, I'm writing intentionally boring. Except for the salivary glands part. That was fun. But for the rest of this, I'm not trying to be funny or genius. I want your expectations to be low so it can just get better from here. Or maybe worse. No promises. Just drool.

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